Mega Blondes: Blondes to strike it rich!!
Lottery ticket lines swelled as the record Mega Millions jackpot grew to $640 million, thanks greatly to players who opened their wallets despite long odds of success. Officials estimate ticket-buyers will have spent more than $1.46 billion on the jackpot by the time Friday night’s numbers are drawn.
The Blondes in house, resident, Peripheral Psychic ( he can see the future, just way off to the left ) has predicted that later tonight, the Blondes will win the $640 million Mega Millions Jackpot! In true Blonde fashion, the boys have preemptively started spending the money that will surely win later this evening.
In addition to the multicolored mink coats and the solid gold waterfall, they plan to purchase the following:
Rik: Immortality, the miniature elephant from that “Mysterious Island” Movie and San Marcos.
Jacob: All the bathing servants from Coming to America!
Louis: Jason Cox as his personal door man (he’ll follow him to every door), a legion of athletes to do Louis’s workouts and a Krispy Kreme in all four corners of the office.
Tomorrow morning the Blondes will also handout, to the first 15,000 haters that show up to an undisclosed location, a Blonde Grill (pictured below). Show up early and pick yours up as a thank you from your New Dictators!!!!!